Stay Alive


Its time to say goodbye
But that’s okay
Maybe we’ll
meet
another day.
And if not
that’s
okay
because that’s how
this life can be.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll surely miss you,
but I’ll use
the noise
to rid the
poise
The poise you always had,
never
well,
but I cannot,
cannot avoid it in
this life
but that’s
okay.
This is how it goes
sometimes.
But they,
they don’t say that.
Everything you see, everything they say
it mostly says
that there’s always hope
don’t give
up on
others
that’s the worse to do.
Let this be said, that
they can only be
saved
if they want
to be.
And,
you have to dig to
find that
said and done.
All they want to be told
is that
People can change
people don’t
ever rarely change
and is it a
fool’s move
to think that
maybe
you found the
pot of gold?
The cold,
harsh truth
happens to be this road,
That
loving someone
doesn’t always have
open arms.
See, your heart may be
open
but you can’t
have a relationship
with one.
You’ve heard it been said, well
it happens to be true.
Just like the
tide rolls in,
people roll out
bashing their
flickering of waves,
they don’t care.
But we’ve got a message,
stay alive.
They may not have many
stories
of this truth.
Mostly, because people
don’t like
the hard truth.
Hide, hide hide,
hide it from their kids, their cowardly hearts.
That’s okay, they’ll see one day,
and then,
they’ll ignore it.
They try to say
you can save it all
and when it doesn’t end well,
well, you should have tried harder.
No, no that’s not how
it goes.
The pretty, best version is
the person you
love
coming back
with truth and love.
And the ashes of the past,
the charred on your heart,
it will heal.
That your relationships you
want
can be okay again.
They say all
love can
conquer all.
That just because
you love
someone
they’ll love you back
and that
just because you
care
doesn’t
mean that they will.
All this to say,
I know they say all of this,
sometimes.
But not enough, maybe.
And I’m here to change that.
Lots of things
end in goodbye.
There’s bye
and there’s
goodbye
please remember they
mean different things
now.
Goodbye
can have
love
and passion
and hope and
a faith
in the future.
Goodbye can be used
when
the walls
and the world
and the words
and crumbling.
They mean nothing anymore.
But we still say goodbye
because we care
while they don’t.
Sometimes you
can say this
and sometime’s the
bye
is there instead.
Bye is different, but
yeah only slightly
There is no hope in
bye
only a far off version of
we’re better of this way and
there is nothing else
for later.
So its time
to say
goodbye.
Step aside,
keep up faith’
and hope,
and don’t give up.
Yeah, we call this staying alive.
Only one part of staying alive.
They say,
‘its better for you
to be
in the
side lines’
You’re tired of staying
here.
Sidelines
the name begins to blur and fill your
head.
You’re
tired
of being here
not fair,
not fair.
Never let go,
never give up.
Those are the words you want
to do.
But you
have to step aside.
Its hard
when you
loved so hard
what else were
you supposed
to do.
Nothing against it,
just a part of living,’
but when things break
by loving,
you still know
you made things,
too.
We don’t forget,
its just a bit blurred,’
is all.
Old and blurred,
like yesterday a thousand years ago.
We know there’s
goodbyes
and this is one
all to say
we’ve come undone.
Tired and charred,
doesn’t make a difference,
gotta keep on fighting
its all that
matters.
We step aside and
pray
and hope
that one day
the relationship will
return and heal
but its not here anymore.
Tricky how
love
can stray with you
but staying and straying,
doesn’t give much anymore.
Leaves only a small
shimmer
of a future,
hurts when you
don’t put a path into that future
its still okay to fantasize
and think of what could be.
There’s a difference between the two,
we know.
We have to let go
for now
we know,
but we don’t want to,
and yet we do.
You gave it all
loved
tried
prayed
hoped
pulled on
helped
and it mattered
just not to the one you were
aiming for.
Its how it goes.
You’ve seen it before.
Happens a lot.
Doesn’t matter,
it still hurts.
The anger’s there,
too.
You don’t want to
let go
but there’s barely anything
to hold
onto.
Maybe a stronger person
would not let go of the
streak
but maybe
the stronger person
would let go
and live now
and live when the future comes
too.
But you can’t’
live
in the future
and you can’t
keep seeing
the past.
So with our bags
lightened,
we’ll try to
lose some of the
weight on our
shoulders.
Its okay
stay alive.
Find another way
even if you can’t
feel much
more.
Your fingers will move
and you’ll find something
different.
Truth is,
not everyone will love you.
Truth is,
not everyone will enjoy you.
Truth is,
not everyone wants to be your family.
Truth is,
there are some pretty not okay
people in this
world,
it would take a long
time
to desribe them all.
Let’s say simply, that
they exist.
And it can hurt,
to realize,
these people, these not okay people,
can be the ones you love
so very hard.
People will lie and say
that they are more fairy tales to
blame on our childhoods.
Liars, all of them, because
they exist and the only truth could be,
is that we do in fact,
live in a story.
So whether we’d call it a fairy tale or a horror story, is up to
you.
But I have a lot of names for this story,
and I would not give any hate
to the Author.
This story has some chapters
that we’d call
horror
or mystrey,
or angst,
or sci-fi even, yeah.
So much more
but I cannot hate any of these genres
because they’re all important
to the
big story.
I know, I know its hard
to love someone
without a relationship
anymore.
And was the first friendship
a lie?
Hard to say
only One knows
But you still
love them
its just a bit
blurred.
And more.
But its hard to find
words to describe
what its like
to be a sister
to someone like her.
Again, a part of this story
that while
I dislike most of this
I can’t say I
hate
the story
its all for a reason,
I’m a strong believer of
that.
I’m a strong Believer in
the Author.
Not as strong as I would like,
or I see in some,
but I know
that no matter my emotions-
yes, I can have a future,
and that the
now,
and all the parts of
now
mean a great deal
into what I’m to become.
Forgive me if that’s a selfish way to put it
I think of others,
and the hurt and pain
and anger they feel,
I also know that
this means something for everyone
else.
I just know
that everything in
life builds us up
for the
Author’s.
As for the
future
I suppose
that
one day
we’ll say hello.
Broken or fixed,
maybe it will
happen.
For now,’
the way
is
goodbye.
Never stop caring,
no, you know you
can’t.
Don’t forget,
no, you know you
won’t.
Saying goodbye
for a while
when you can
do nothing,
while it hurts,
and leaves you so many
things,
doesn’t mean
you gave up
or stop loving.
You see these people,
the strong ones,
but they just
learned how
to live and deal-
and say goodbye.
I’m saying that
you should always love
with truth
passion
fire
meaning
courage
and more,
but we won’t say it
all
or it will
lose meaning.
You’ll find,
how others love
doesn’t change how you do,
that’s how it
should
go.
You can’t make others
care
or love
or understand
or feel-
other words exist too,
the ugly ones,
the ones you know and I know
but while we
mention these words,
we also pretend that one day
they’ll leave and
not exist.
But we don’t say that.
For one,
you have
to move
on.
You’ve heard it
it might make you
sick
to hear
but you see
you have to.
You’ll
make it
just breathe
today
because you said
goodbye
now its time to find a new grip.
You’ll
find it
just
stay alive.
-Angela R. Watts
7/29/15

Just let the words come. Don’t think if they’re wrong or right. Just write them. Somethings in your soul, ugly or beautiful.

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