I was nearing 30,000 words Monday for Camp NaNo. After really focusing my heart on the Lord for The Infidel Books, the words came pretty well and I felt that I wasn’t forsaking my plot and the foreboding for book 2 was a good start. I prayed hard to have faith when my doubts sounded so silly. I prayed God would guide my writing. I prayed to have confidence that even if this series only reached a select few people, that it would touch them, that God would only have the people HE needed to read it, read it.
Because of that prayer and trust in God, Satan has not left me alone. Do you know the feeling? When you know this is a thing God needs you to do–and no one else–but fears and doubts tug at you, trying to get you distracted and disheartened? You do, because we’re all human. But as Believers, we’re called to be BOLD. COURAGEOUS.
I had finished writing a very, very painful scene that morning and found a song shortly after, called I Refuse by Five Finger Death Punch. I listen to them often, so this wasn’t out of this world weird. Still, it snagged my attention because of how, literally, spot on it was with the novel I’m writing. It almost freaked me out a bit. Here I was, worrying if what I’m writing needs to be heard or if I’m doing it right, and God just sends this song to confirm that, yes. Our words are needed. God gave us a voice not to be silenced. We have to make that choice because it will change things.
Skip a day ahead, I’m listening to the same song, and I realize something else. I refuse. I stopped matching the song to my novel and grabbed those two words with my spirit.
I refuse. I refuse to let Satan win. I refuse to be afraid. I refuse to let this go. I refuse to ignore God’s Voice. I refuse to doubt God’s Love. I refuse.
And when we make that choice, Satan has no power over us.
If you have doubts, don’t shove them away as silly, my friend. Pray. And you look those doubts and fears in the face and say, “I refuse you in the name of Christ.”
If you’re interested in beta reading The Divided Nation, here’s the sign up form, as well. ♥ If you have questions, let me know, and if you can’t sign up be can spread the word, I’d really aappreciate that!